Recipes for Living Janice Nannen

Ted was born on July 11, 1915, in San Jose (pronounced like it is spelled), Illinois. He never lost his love for that state. When Ted was about a year old, his dad and mother moved here to Iowa and bought a farm northwest of Murray. The house, which was made of bricks from a brick factory across the road, was built during the Civil War. When Ted and I were married, the house was torn down and replaced by a cottage moved out from Murray. Ted and his dad dug the basement by hand. We lived in that house for 38 years.

Ted went to country school and then to Murray school in town. In later years his parents had a home in Murray and kept the one in the country to rent. Among their friends were the whole Fenn family and Ted and Everett were close friends. They once took a trip together to Yellowstone National Park.

Ted was a quiet man, just the opposite from me. They say opposites attract and I guess that was true for us. He loved nature and animals. He couldn't understand how people could be cruel to them. He always had a dog that rode on the tractor with him. We lost one of the dogs to coons and one to coon dog paralysis, the result of a coon bite. Ted cried when he buried them.

He enjoyed fishing and went as long as he could, but his arthritis was so bad and he was in so much pain that he couldn't go as much as he would have liked. During the last two years of his life, he prayed to die and, when we went to our daughter Kathie's home in Arkansas to be there with her for surgery, he got his wish. She came home from the hospital on Thanksgiving Day, November 27, 1997, and Ted died in her home the next day.

There were so many miraculous happenings and situations surrounding his death that it became one miracle after another. I believe his death was planned just as it took place in order that I wouldn't be alone when it happened. He didn't take pills with him that he normally would have taken, so I think he had a part in that planning. He could have been protecting me, because I wouldn't have been able to get him home by myself He hadn't written in his diary on the day he died, which was unusual and also makes me think that he knew.

We stayed in a motel and ordinarily I took Ted to Kathie's in the afternoon. Something told me to take him in the morning. Steve and I were helping him walk down a hall to the bathroom and he fell right in front of us. I think he was dead when he hit the floor. We called the First Responders and I gave them instructions not to revive him because of his wish to die. However, they are obligated to try. They confirmed that he was already dead, so they took his body to Mountain Home, Arkansas where Ted was embalmed. That is a requirement if a body is to be moved across state lines. They brought him to Kale's Funeral Home in Osceola.

Steve and Kathie's son, Tim, and his wife, Kristen, had been there for Kathie's surgery and had left for Springfield when all this happened. However, we called them on their cellular phone and they came back right away. Steve and Tim drove me home to Osceola while Kristen stayed with Kathie.

I had been raised in the Church of Christ, Ted in Methodism, so, for the funeral, I asked Marty Burgus of the Church of Christ, and the Rev. John Tunnicliff of the United Methodist Church in Murray to participate in the service. They did it so beautifully. I was impressed that John laid his hand on the casket. I had never seen a pastor do that, but it was like a final blessing or benediction. It was too soon after her surgery for Kathie to attend. We all felt badly about that but we taped the service and took pictures of Ted in the casket, which helped give her closure. We all regarded it as a celebration for Ted because he hadn't wanted to live on and perhaps eventually go into a care center.

The miracles continued: We had specified that Ted's memorial was to go to the Murray United Methodist Church but not what it was to be used for. They bought a communion service which will be used for the first time on June 14. Before any of this happened, Steve and Kathie planned to vacation in Wyoming and had arranged to stop here on June 14th. So we will all be together on that special occasion.

Ted was so methodical that he had made many arrangements for when he would be gone. He had everything organized and that is so helpful. It is unfortunate if the subject of death is avoided and the question of, what does the remaining spouse do then, is never addressed.

Janice

I was born March 27, 1919. I have a letter that my mother wrote to me for my birthday in 1970, telling about that experience. My dad always called me Peg and all of Ted's relatives know me as Peg. That is why Mother began her letter, "Dear Peg." "I can remember as if it was yesterday the day you were born. It was in the morning but I don't know the exact time. We lived 7 miles south of Murray down by Raymond Ridinger in a little 4 room house and you came into the world in a little bedroom about room enough for the bed and Dr. Armitage (the old Dr. A) and Mrs. Welker, Ray's mother, that were with me. "I will never forget how proud Dad was when he came and put you in bed with me. Then he had to go find Mrs. Haviland who was to stay with me. If I remember right, he had a time finding her. She had gone to be on another baby case. "She took wonderful care of us both. Gave me everything to eat but Dad and James thought they had pretty slim pickins. The weather was so beautiful. I lay there in bed. The birds were singing. We had a lot of hens and they really turned out the eggs. We sold 30 dozen at a time. Dad took them to Hopeville and Mrs. Haviland always had a list a mile long that about took it all and I got the most of it. "She was with us about a week then Dad did the washing and helped with the house work. James was a wonderful kid to work. He wasn't quite 7. I was really happy even though we were as poor as Job's turkey. I loved you so much and still do and we were a happy family. Expect you will think this is kind of a crazy letter but I didn't have too much to write so thought I would bring out some of the old memories that were dear to me concerning your birthday. "I hope you have a nice birthday and many, many more. I want you to stay around as long as I'm here. Lots of Love, Mom."

I started school in Thayer and then we moved so I attended country school. I had to walk 1 ½ miles. Sometimes snow was over the fences and there were days, when we got to school, that the stove didn't keep the room warm. There was a recitation bench in the front and we recited all our lessons out loud, so everyone knew whether you had your lesson or not. We carried water about a mile for our drinking and we all used the same dipper. We played games together during recess. We had to take examinations to pass out of 8th grade and into high school.

This was during the Depression and I felt so sorry for my parents. One dollar was all Mom had to buy groceries and, if we ever had a quarter for candy, it had to be divided. During the year of the chinch bugs there were no crops. Mom had rhubarb and went to the neighbors and got mulberries. She mixed the two together and that was our fruit.

We didn't feel sorry for ourselves-everyone was in the same situation as we were. During threshing season we had ice and that was a treat. I rode my pony and took water to the men in the oats field. I always had to play alone because I was the only girl in the neighborhood.

There are people that stand out for me in my memories of those years. Ruby Henderson was my 8th grade teacher. We rode our horses together to country school and she helped me prepare for our exams. Our high school history teacher made the subject interesting. She arranged us in a circle and that seemed to help us relate to it.

My parents never had my eyes tested and I went all those years without glasses. I was near sighted and couldn't see but didn't know what I was missing. I thought everybody was seeing what I saw. What a thrill it was, when I finally was fitted for glasses! It opened a whole new world. I am so glad they test kids now so they can be spared that situation.

It was always assumed that we would go to Sunday school and church. I was baptized by immersion in the Church of Christ when I was about 11 or 12 years old. A girl friend and I made up our minds to do that. At that time I had a Sunday school teacher, Beulah Strubhar, whose son, Lester, became a minister. She made it so much fun for us. We rode to church with them and would sing along the way.

Murray had a pastor, Rev. Underwood, about the time our daughter, Kathie, was three years-old. Mrs. Underwood was the Sunday School Superintendent. I taught beginners, then the 4th grade class, and, for a short time, those who had graduated from high school.

My parents moved to Murray after I graduated and I never quite understood why they waited until then because I had either walked or ridden a horse to get to school all those years. I'd have appreciated living in town.

After I graduated from high school, I was a clerk and bookkeeper in Bingham’s General Store in Murray. We took grocery orders, then filled them, put the items in boxes and the customers picked them up when they were ready to go home. Merchandising was quite different than now. There was little packaging. The bacon had to be sliced, the cookies and candy were in bulk; and we had yard goods to cut to order.

I had known Ted even though we went to different churches. One day Ted came to the house and asked me for a date. Usually that was to see a movie and have something to eat afterwards. We continued going together and he didn't really ask me to marry him. I guess we just decided together.

We were married on October 8, 1939. In 1999, we would have celebrated our 60th anniversary. The pastor who married us was the Rev. Cecil Murrow. His wife's brother is Wayne Keeler. It was a simple wedding with just our parents and Everett Fenn in attendance. I remember that it was a rainy day and we left immediately on our honeymoon.

We went through Missouri. At that time there were two lanes of roads but they were only paved on one side. We assumed they must only have had money enough to do them that way. When we got to Arkansas, we had to ford a creek on the main highway, and we saw lots of razorback hogs. We crossed the Mississippi on the ferry and went up through Tennessee, Ohio, and Illinois and then returned home to the farm. Then came the chivaree, a custom where friends came making a lot of noise, getting you out of bed and you'd better have cigars and candy bars for everyone. It is another practice that is no longer part of our culture.

Our life was the usual for farm families. You never know what your income will be. You can't count on a crop until it is in the bin. But, as my mother wrote in her letter, happiness doesn't depend on money and it is good to know that.

My family was deeply rooted in the Church of Christ. My grandfather Hindes was on the board when they built the church. My grandmother Hindes, whom I dearly loved, was in a wheel chair and there is a pew in the church that is short so she could have a place for her chair.

Ted belonged to the Methodist Church, so I joined there. When that building was erected, in 1919, his father brought the blueprints from San Jose, Illinois. The church was built from those blueprints and it is exactly like the one he had known in San Jose. This was a reason he felt so close to the Methodist church. Neither of us wanted to change our membership when we left Murray so we have supported both the Church of Christ and Methodist churches.

We were blessed with a daughter Kathie Jean, born August 4, 1946. She never caused any problems and I am so grateful for her, particularly now that I am alone. She lives in Mountain Home, Arkansas and is married to Steve Smith. I have two grandchildren-Timothy Smith and his wife, Kristen, who live in Fort Smith, Arkansas; and Susannah and her husband, Charles Babb, who live in Holly Springs, Mississippi. Tim is a computer science engineer at O.K. Foods; Charles is a weekend minister in Holly Springs, working toward his Master's degree in Memphis. Susannah is earning her Master's in speech pathology at "Old Miss.", in Oxford, Mississippi.

I think my greatest enjoyment was as a Homemaker-Health Aide in Clarke County's Home Care Aide Service. People appreciated all we did for them and they became like my extended family. Floy McCloney was a good director and we both retired in 1980.

I credit Cliff and Jane Haider for guiding me to be more active in church and deepening my spiritual life. When the Covenant Group concept was introduced, I went to Cliff’s office to say that I would like to be in one. Jane happened to be in the office and Cliff said, ''Why don't you and Jane start one?" We began with just the two of us and gradually expanded. It is a group where we have devotions, share our experiences and concerns; and it has been such a support for me. In these past few months, since Ted's death, it is God's guidance that has kept and continues to keep me going.

Another small group that I have enjoyed is our King's Daughters Sunday School Class. We study the Bible, interpreting it in the light of what it meant in the days it was written, but also what it says to us in this day and culture. The sharing that we do is most helpful.

I was Parish Visitor for several years while Cliff was here and continuing after Rev. Judy Miller came. I enjoyed calling on people, both newcomers and ones who hadn't been attending. I tried to encourage them to come. However, no one can take the minister's place. He or she seems to represent the church in a way lay people can't. That probably goes back to the days when ministers were expected to call. Now there are several obstacles-the increased office duties and the inability to find people at home when they do attempt to go.

I now live in an apartment in Osceola and continue to be active. I am a Pink Lady at the hospital one day a week, delivering mail and little booklets designed especially for this purpose, and visiting with patients. This is a program that has been continuing since 1963. We were recently honored at a hospital luncheon for volunteers. I always come home feeling we have so much to be thankful for. Some of the long-term patients are no older than I. I am indeed blessed.

I am a 26-year member of Eastern Star. Ross and Ruth Gould were always our support and we shall miss Ruth who had a way of organizing things and making everything fun.

If I were to try to put into words what life has taught me, that I would like to pass along to others, it is that there is nothing we can do without God's help. It is wonderful to think that Jesus died for our sins and we are saved! As I think back on my life, I feel that for many years I was self-centered but in the last while I have grown to know that we need to help other people. The question I ask God every day is, "How can I be of help to others?" A positive attitude does a lot to get us through our trials.

Janice has carried the following in her Bible until it is yellowed and frayed:

Don't be rude to your inferiors in social position.
Don't repeat gossip; even if it does interest a crowd
Don't jeer at anybody's religious belief.
Learn to hide your aches and pain under a pleasant
smile. Few care whether you have the earache,
headache or rheumatism.

Do not try to be anything else but a gentleman or a
gentlewoman, and that means one who has
consideration for the whole world and whose life is
governed by the Golden Rule.